got 4 piercings today. Vertical labret redone-for the 3x. Nipples redone for the 2x. and a chest dermal. fucking in love with all of them. my tits look so much more amazing :) Is it weird that i love that feeling of pain as the needles pushing through and the burst of endorphins or whatever the fuck feels so amazing right as it pops out the other end? well…i fucking love it.
thank god for adderall. cuts my appetite in half. really should help with this 18lbs that im trying to lose. i need to go buy a fucking scale today.
seriously-i do have ‘add’, yes. but i wont lie and say i dont get prescribed 2-3x more than i actually need. i either sell the rest or just hoard it for anytime i may need it. I’ve never thought about crushing it and doing lines of it….with my past coke addiction im not too sure that its the best idea but after seeing other peoples posts showing pics of their bright orange lines….i really really fucking want to. I rolled the other night for the first time in a year and my throat has been craving the drip ever since. an adderall drip would be similar to a coke drip…right?! lol. what do you guys think?? is snorting adderall really that much different than just swallowing it?? hah, i just re-read that and realized what a dumb question it was. of course its fucking different. and by different, i probably mean better.
miss my fucking dreads. these are sexy.
(Source: ghettomagic)
(Source: vickygranger)
18lbs.
I know no one reads this shit and i dont mind. i just need to write it and know that its out there for anyone to see if they so choose. i know that i can lose the weight if i really want to. i must change. i must be skinny again. i did it before i can do it again. where did my motivation go? where did my willpower go? since when do i love food so much? when did i stoip caring and let myself go? I want to be as skinny so that i can feel beautiful again.
Current weight: 138
height: 5’7
I am not trying to starve myself, no not really. i just need to do what i need to do to get down to 120. 18 pounds seems like such a small number. but its not. oh its not. Any fellow bloggers out there trying to lose 20lbs or under know what i mean im sure.
Here goes nothing.
one day my body will look like this again.
(Source: lookitsmequinn)
double rainbow
rain in the sunlight
making rivers on my face pouring down as i
bike past familiar streets and unfamiliar faces.
i want to keep going all the way until i reach the edge
and then fling myself off of it.
i am looking for your face in every reflective surface i pass by
and i don’t even know who you are.
Ideas of this parallel life keep me daydreaming through the night when
my brain should be resting but i can never shut you out.
where have i been and where am i going?
i am an empty shell floating weighted down securely to this tormented city that i call home.
tattooed hands shake as they light my ciggarette and stare into the
space that should be taken up by him.
push wet bangs across my forehead and stare into the sun trying to escape from
behind gray clouds;
my doctor always told me i would go blind and i guess he was right.
for all my nearsightedness i couldn’t see love if it was standing right in front of me.
rain smearing my make-up,raccoon eyes gleaming,t-shirt material shoes sodden-
i ride my bike in circles under the half escaped sun and wonder what it means,
the double rainbow sky above me.
-megan lopez
